Graduation Reflections

As spring approaches, the weather has steadily gotten warmer. Sure it rains on occasion but it is no longer frigid and unbearable. Welcoming this transition is no other than the beautiful Japanese cherry blossoms. Like the blossoming flowers, our budding 3rd years have been something to admire. After months of hard work and disquitude comparable to what American college students have to endure, my students have crossed the finish line. And so, with the coming of the new season, I fought off tears, just barely, as I bid my children farewell.

Before I share my graduation experience, I want to provide insight into my relationship with my students. There are times I wish I made a greater effort to make a connection but I am grateful for the relationships I did manage to make. In the beginning it was difficult for me as I had to deal with chronic illness and homesickness. With the falling leaves and windy autumn nights, there was a cold, sinking feeling of loneliness. Days got shorter, it got chillier, holidays got overlooked and I was in miserable state. But I kept truckin', as my Outward Bound instructor Cully told me years back. And so the Sports day gave me an opportunity to mingle with the children outside the classroom. It was a success as I was able to make new friends and make many inside jokes. And during the competitions I saw for the first time how talented my children were...they made me proud. Not only was their physical strength admirable, their discipline and commitment to nail routines was amazing. The leaders of the groups (Tanaka Yuki, Shigeaki, Natsuko) were very impressive with their ability to command the attention of their peers. Everyone worked hard. The Japanese student is hard working by nature...they stay after school everyday until 530 or 6 either doing a club activity or studies.

There were other moments. Every day I had lunch with the children (rotating by grade level). Some days I managed to start a conversation and other days were just awkward. All in Japanese...At first everyone wanted to get a piece of me as they asked me countless questions. But as I settled in, I was no longer the center of attention. And while I can have a relatively intelligent conversation in Japanese, my mastery of the language leaves much to be desired. I want to talk to my children about politics, economy, travel, the state of the world. But no, I struggle to describe my love for basketball. Sometimes I can get through to the kids (I taught one kid why the Americans bombed Hiroshima) but other times they look at me befuddled. I want to study Japanese for my children...but alas, I have been more comfortable reading The Count of Monte Cristo, building my English vocabulary, and studying economics from good old Krugen. That's right, I'm reading a text book for "fun". The plan is to take the GRE, get into UCSD's International Relations and Pacific Studies major, get an awesome internship and become a diplomat. Perhaps a JLPT 2 along the way to bolster my resume to nab a job with an NGO or state department. Maybe business? I dunno, but I'm working my way up to it by studying words like ante meridiem and voracious. I suppose the latter describes my ambitions.

Sports day, lunch, what else? The classroom sounds appropriate, right? Unfortunately, my relations with one particular English teacher is rather frigid. She's notoriously difficult with ALTs and younger instructors. I tried everything get along with her but it's been like ripping out teeth. Bloody and excrutiatingly painful. While I praise her creative lesson plans, she hardly uses me in lessons...unless I confront her after class. This teacher is responsible for 2nd years and half the 3rd years classes. Consequently, my relationship with my children is affected by her. With the 2nd years, who I have incredible rapport, I decided to attend their social studies class on occasion to spend more time with them. It was very successful as they began to really take a liking to me for that. I got describe the American perspective on WWII, explain the American geopgraphy, and offer insight into other things American. Similarly, I decided to do something to maintain a relationship with my 3rd years. And so I started a Pen Pal Program (Pen Friends).

As some of you may have heard, I began a Pen Pal program at my school. I suggested the idea to my English teachers during the summer but I was shut down immediately. Couple months later, I approached the 3rd year teacher, wrote out a detailed, bulleted agenda for the program and got him to approve. Then I took it to the principal and got his okay. The program was special as it was with my old elementary school: Clarendon. In fact, I worked with Mr. Hippard, my old 5th grade teacher, as we exchanged many emails to make this program work. I was able to get 14 of my 3rd years to participate in the program and all were successful in writing 2 letters. I created worksheets, fake letter examples (they were addressed to you James Chiu), etc. I actually got my own classroom and taught grammar, how to write letters and shared with them a little about my home, San Francisco. I finally felt like a teacher. The students wrote about their hobbies, the holidays, etc. The experience was absolutely wonderful. I was under constant stress, though, as I had to meet a deadline (January) as the children had to begin their studies for high school exams. And with all sorts of activities, it was a nightmare to find appropriate times to meet. All of this would have been impossible if I didn't have the help of my friend, Kanako. She's the assistant English teacher (she's Japanese). She helped write up progress reports to our faculty, communicated important information to the students and helped me immensely with the project. This project not only allowed me to get closer to the children but it gave me hope and freedom. No longer was I constrained by the coursebook, no longer did I have to abide by my teacher's rules. I got to teach whatever the hell I wanted, the way I wanted. It made the English teacher I don't get along with irritated, to say the least. Kanako and I took great pleasure in it, to say the least.

In addition to the pen pal letter, I gave Shorenji Kempo a try to get to know one of my students, Kaito. He's one of my favorite students as he's incredibly smart, diligent, and down to earth. Plus he loves basketball. While I did not stick it out with the karate, I am glad that I was able to make a connection with him.

The last couple of months have been tough. With the children fully immersed in their studies and the discontinuation of the pen pal program, I hardly ever saw some of my 3rd years. To make things worse, I had a terrible high ankle sprain that made mobility quite difficult...the school is not built for crutches. Therefore, I couldn't eat lunch with my kids for a whole month. To add insult to injury, my antagonist, the English teacher, told me not to come to any more 3rd year classes. She told me that I was not needed for test taking. Load of bull. My other English teacher had me go to almost every class to help with the 3rd years prep for the tests. But alas, my relationship with 3-1 class was hindered.

And so that's my lengthy background. I care for my 3rd years. My relationship with them sometimes feel like that of a divorced father who lost a custody battle. I try my best to see them but the ex (English teacher) denies me access. And as I see them grow up, I am saddened by the fact that I couldn't be there for them more. The life of an ALT. But does it really have to be that way? I'm fighting the good fight but I can certainly do more.

And so, March 17th, marked three things: Jenn's birthday, St. Patrick's Day, and my children's graduation. Every day leading up to this special day was rainy and ugly. But on this one particular, perfect day, it was nice and sunny. The ceremony was heart warming. You see, while American graduations involve only the graduating class, in Japan, all classes (yr 1,2 3) attend. The 1st and 2nd years are there to send off their senpai. Club groups gather to present gifts to the graduating class in honor of their time with the teams. It was very touching...there is a strong unity amongst the students crossing grades. And so, as the graduation drew to a close, and as the children sang "yell", people just began to cry. The 3rd years, who have bodies of full grown adults, balled like the children they are. Even Tanaka, the toughest of the graduating class, had teary eyes. In turn, the 2nd and 1st graders were crying too. I could hear constant sniffling sounds and I observed the anguish on their faces. Seeing my children in such pain...it really hit me hard. They really care about each other. And then I glanced over and saw my fellow teachers. Sniffle sniffle. While I escaped without breaking down this year, I think next year I will break down. Like I said before, I love my 2nd years, and to see them all off....I'll be drunk off of emotions. And I wouldn't want it any other way.