The Adventures at the DMV

When a JET recontracts, a multitude of pros and cons are weighed out. Homesickness, displeasure with the work environment, and a resignation to enter the real world drive some away. As the recontracting process happens during the winter, depression strikes as it plays into the decision making. Others, who ink out another year, are either passionate about their work, wish to learn more about Japanese culture, or/and are too comfortable with their situation to take the next step. While these reasons are quite simplistic and may not influence some JETs, there are the general arguments raised in early February. One overlooked reason that rarely enters discussion is the notoriously expensive driver’s license. And so today I will try my best to describe to you all the crucible that was obtaining a Japanese license.

Living in the Japanese countryside one MUST have a car to get around. My Yakuba (city hall) provided me with a car. While I am restricted to traveling to Yawatahama, there is a major train that passes through Yawatahama. Mobility is awesome. This situation only poses a dilemma if I choose to drink away from home as I would be forced to drive home under the influence. Japan has a 0 tolerance for drinking and driving, one drop of alcohol is considered over the limit. Thus I am a habitual nomad who must rely upon the kindness of friends to provide a roof over my head. The situation is not perfect but with a free car and gas, one has no reason to complain. Driving in the Japanese countryside was somewhat challenging at first but I have grown accustomed to driving on the left side of the road and maneuvering my car through narrow streets. And thanks to AAA, I was able to procure a International Driver’s Permit so I could forego getting a real license. Unfortunately, the permit expires in 1 year. Yes, if one recontracts in the Japanese countryside, they will need to get a Japanese driver’s license. When I recontracted, I had completely forgotten about this minor detail. True, it should not dictate your decision but at least I could have thought about it, if only for a painful moment. On April 2nd, 2010, I embarked on an odyssey.

It was spring break. The children were out of school but not really. They were still required to do club activities every day. The teachers were not on beaches getting their tan on. No, we went to our teacher’s room every day. Sure, things were slightly informal but still, spring break is not what it was in college. To pass the time I read and studied. It was the perfect opportunity to go get my license. I was able to obtain 3 “special leave vacation” time. And so I went to Matsuyama with my supervisor, Mr. Shiga, on Friday morning. The drive up was surprisingly pleasant as he was very easy to talk to. He has this mellow demeanor and frankness about him. Our conversation ultimately steered towards travel as he expressed interest in going abroad. Apparently he has relatives in South America! With the workaholic attitude that many of the Japanese have, though, vacation is put on ice until retirement. When we got to the Ehime Driving Center, I filled out all the necessary documents. Application, interview, vision test and a ridiculously easy written true or false exam that a trained monkey could pass. Such questions included: “When you come to an intersection with a police officer dictating traffic, do you listen to him?” or “If you drink alcohol, you can drive”. Bureaucracy being the way it is, I wasn’t done until about 3 or 4pm. The application and all this took only 25 dollars. But, moments later, I was ushered to one of the practice instructors. You see, there is a set course with fictitious intersections, lights and signs that one needs to pass. The instructor told me to get as many practice tickets as I wished. I decided to get 2 hours worth of tickets. At aridiculous price of 11 dollars for 10 minutes (400yen-instructor, 700yen to use car), I spent 130 dollars on tickets. I ended up buying 40 minutes more later for a grand total of 174 dollars. And so, between the tickets and Friday’s application, I spent over 200 dollars.

On Friday I opted not to practice driving but I went to the DMV on Sunday. While the DMV is closed on Saturdays, the practice area was open on Sunday. Before I go any further, I failed to mention that the driving test can be administered ONLY on Tuesdays and Fridays for foreigners. Thus, on top of the money situation, I was stressed out by the time constraint…I was allotted only 3 days of free vacation time but if I were to fail, not only would I have to spend more money but I would have to use up my precious vacation time! Back to Sunday. My supervisor was unable to accompany me any further in my journey. He had already gone beyond anything I could have hoped for: he made reservations for my driving test, he drove me 2 hrs to the dmv and 2 hrs back from the dmv, he bought me lunch and helped me throughout the process. He is freaking awesome. But now I had to face the challenge by myself. Firstly, I took the train to Matsuyama (with the young weekenders card, 28 dollars for two way tickets), took the bus from the station to the dmv (5 dollars), and got lunch across the street from the dmv (10 bucks). When I got to the practice area, I began to vigorously read over the course map. After looking over the practice track over and over again, I was fairly confident. In addition to memorizing the course, one needs to make the appropriate verbal commands at every juncture. In Japanese. Hidari Koho Sayu Yoshi, Oto nash, Migi Migi Koho Yoshi, etc etc etc. I nailed it. So I thought. I went ahead and signed up for 3 practice sessions (20 minutes a piece). In all those practice sessions, I met a colorful array of characters. My first instructor, for example, we’ll call her “raging bitch,” was well, intolerable. The moment I got into the car she began to tell me to do things. Instead of letting me finish a verbal command, she would talk over me. Every moment of the practice session with her was absolutely hellish as she was anal about every bit of the course. I had to fight back my frustration…I really felt like snapping at her. But cooler heads would prevail as I made it through the practice lesson without exploding on her. I felt like a mindless drone operating the vehicle…I couldn’t think for myself and thus I was timid and unsure about the course. She was very animate about being 50 cm from the curve and 30 cm from the white line…all about the measurements. In hindsight, she was probably my best instructor. As much as I hated her, she gave me a good foundation…I was made efficient and meticulous with my driving. My 2nd instructor, the mellow and gentle man in his 40s, was exactly what I needed.Still shell shocked with my experience with the “raging bitch,” he had a calmer demeanor that settled my nerves. He was obsessed with making proper wheel turns as he constantly preached “hand over hand”. On my last session of the day, I did another session with the RB but it went a lot smoother. In fact, she barely said a thing…inside I smirked as I relished being able to shut her up. And so after day 1 I mastered the 50-30 cm measurements, making a lane change 4 dotted lines before an intersection, and how to turn the wheel. I went back on the bus to the train station then took the train to Yawatahama then drove back to my Ikata-cho hole. Until the next day for more practice.

The following day, Monday, I went to the DMV in Matsuyama once again. Taking the same discounted train fare ($28) and the $5 bus. Got some lunch and made a hotel reservation at the hotel across the street from the DMV. For the cheap price of $65 a night (dinner and breakfast included), I was able to procure a room at the License Hotel. Now all I had to do was roll out of bed and I would be set to take the test early Tuesday morning. When I got to the practice facility, there were a couple of new instructors. I got paired up with this goofy dude with a great sense of humor. I think it was because I was a foreigner but he kept laughing as he was trying to talk to me in English. The specialty he taught me was being excessively animated on my commands. Move your head, really look at the mirror. Hunch forward when making the “sayu” commands on low visibility intersections. In addition, he instilled in me a sense of confidence…he seemed to think I was a pretty good driver. After our pleasant drive, he signed off on my practice card and told me I can take a car out on my own now. And so I practiced another hour or so until I called it a day and went back to the hotel to take a long nap. Before I forget, I want to mention a couple of my friends that helped me tremendously. John and Travis gave me a lot of information on the test and prepped me for what to expect. John even offered to take me out on a test drive to give me pointers. But the most important thing I got was their support…as this process was daunting and doing it by myself was petrifying. And so I had an early dinner and went back to my room to watch some tv before I crashed for the night. The television show choice was fairly ironic. As I was in a state of panic and stress, I was watching a show on a countdown about the “most amazing people in the world”. Basically it was a collection of dare devils and risk takers ranging from ropeless mountain climbers to teenagers rubbing honey on their bellies and letting bears lick it off of them. I guess my driver’s license test paled in comparison to these dangerous activities. I slept well.

The next day I was up and early. Got breakfast and headed out to conquer my mountain. My journey was drawing to a close and I needed to summon that last power 10 to get me over the hump. I listened to Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” to get my mind focused and ready. I thought back to my days on dragonboat, told myself not to bitch out and go out there and do my shit. No longer a paddler but always a competitor. I was going to pass this test. And so I got 30-40 min more of a practice session, 20 minutes by myself and about 20 min with an instructor. The last instructor was a lady in her late 30s. She gave me the skillset of knowing when to call out my commands. And so I learned all my skills to take me to the top. Distance from the bitch, proper wheel turning by the gentle dude, animated motions by the goofy fellow and when to vocalize by the lady. And it was time for all of it to come together. I was paired with another foreigner, this guy from China-Mongolia. I talked with him quite a bit…all in Japanese of course. He was very interesting, he was telling me how only 20% of Chinese have work…the other 80% are involved in agriculture. I was also curious about his sentiments towards the Chinese…since he was Mongolian. He said he had no ill feelings but as a child he learned only Mongolian, at least until it was compulsory at 3rd grade in elementary school. Back to the test. So my Chinese-Mongolian friend took the test first as I sat in the back to observe him. It was quite helpful. Then it was my turn. I closed the door. DOOR YOSHI. Adjusted my seat. SEAT YOSHI. Put my safety belt on. BELT YOSHI. All the other commands followed. With every command I grew more vocal and confident. As I was going over these safety commands before I set off to the course it felt a lot like marshalling. I was pumping myself up. Chest bump. Then I took the test, trying to be as meticulous and thoughtful as possible with every turn of the wheel. I was crisp and vocal at every moment of the test that required a vocal command. Kept my head up and kept rotating. Made sure I wasn’t rushing my commands and entered the lanes smoothly. As I was set to park my car on the curb I uttered my last verbal command, “Hidari Koho Yoshi” as I slowly got ready to dock. Car stopped, park on, break up, blinker off, engine off. Done. 15 minutes later I got the news that my friend and I passed, took a picture and was out of there before noon. The endeavor cost me between $450 and $500. It was a pyrrhic victory. But it was done.

And thus my adventures at the DMV draws to a steady close. The journey was difficult but I had friends to help me out along the way. Jessamine gave me some necessary prep talk and even offered to drive me to Matsuyama. My supervisor drove me and got me lunch. My friends John and Travis gave me so many information and support. My instructors, even the raging bitch, gave me a proper foundation to succeed. And I made a new friend at the DMV. I was nervous, petrified, scared. But I was able to harness a lot of my old dragonboat testosterone. Stayed the course and finished strong.